Addressing the intimidation I feel when writing to women I admire, such as Paulita Pappel, Amanda Montell, and Erika Lust. (experimenting with a more diaristic and extemporaneous style)

Yesterday, I wrote an email to erotic film director Erika Lust, expressing my interest in writing for her Lustzine. Ms. Lust is the second “big name” in ethical porn I’ve reached out to since I’ve decided to seek work in a role that helps me contribute to sex-positive professionals. Last weekend, I reached out to […]

Erotic film actress Heidi Switch makes porn and body image deeper (and promotes more ethics)

“Put yourself on the pedestal,” said “adult performer” (what do actresses and actors in XXX movies prefer to be called? “Porn star?” “Adult film actress/actor?” “erotica entertainer?” Wikipedia—which I always hate to cite, but is a fine enough source for this context—lists “pornographic film actor/actress, adult entertainer, porn star” and lists “actor” and “sex worker” […]

Some thoughts on Dr. Emily Nagoski’s book *Come As You Are*

Almost a year of isolation a’ la social distancing, “uncertain times” and “the new normal” (as of this writing it’s been almost ten months) gets depressing and requires nearly unprecedented efforts to keep optimistic. One thing that’s come to “lift my spirits” (and in fact, my penis sometimes) is taking hour long walks with my […]

How to feel sexy and hot when complimenting a woman you find sexy and hot…

I would feel a lot sexier if I could reduce the intense social anxiety that often seizes me, especially in group conversations. It’s not just women who I’m especially attracted to who intimidate me (ah, what a bitter-sweet type of intimidation; the outstandingness of the feeling so timeless and enlivening, those intense surges of excitement!) […]

Some thoughts on sexual frustration

“That sh*t is real! But it isn’t something you’ll see defined in a medical textbook.” –Gabrielle Kassel “Oftentimes we complain about being sexually frustrated as though it’s someone else’s job to address our feelings—it’s not,” –Shamyra Howard “The only way out is through” Alanis Morissette One can get so overwhelmingly horny (like sex itself, though […]

Am I “obsessed” with sex or “passionate” and “in love with it?” (the first of a new series of blog posts about my insecurities, curiosities, and fascinations regarding sex)

Am I obsessed with sex or am I passionate about and in love with it? Well, this depends on how you are defining the terms. The Oxford English Dictionary provides, I believe, the most flexible of dictionary definitions for the word “obsessed”: In the sense that my mind is “filled” with thoughts about sex, I […]

Erotic daydream about talking ‘dirty’ and feeling attractive on the inside and outside (erotic; rough draft)

“You’re so fucking hot, and I fucking want you so bad!” Enya Saari said. “Lately I’ve been reading your poetry a lot, and it makes me so fucking wet! I even get myself off reading it sometimes. I want to see what you look and sound like when you cum. I want you to cum […]

On polyamory: part 2– Some observations on sexual attraction

On polyamory: part 2— Some observations on sexual attraction    A girl once called me ugly.[1] Fifteen or so years later, the remark still bugs me. Sometimes, when a woman attracts me, I think “she’d never fuck me![2]” And then I fall into hate with my face, and physics, and fate for damning me with […]