Addressing the intimidation I feel when writing to women I admire, such as Paulita Pappel, Amanda Montell, and Erika Lust. (experimenting with a more diaristic and extemporaneous style)

Yesterday, I wrote an email to erotic film director Erika Lust, expressing my interest in writing for her Lustzine. Ms. Lust is the second “big name” in ethical porn I’ve reached out to since I’ve decided to seek work in a role that helps me contribute to sex-positive professionals. Last weekend, I reached out to […]

Some thoughts on Dr. Emily Nagoski’s book *Come As You Are*

Almost a year of isolation a’ la social distancing, “uncertain times” and “the new normal” (as of this writing it’s been almost ten months) gets depressing and requires nearly unprecedented efforts to keep optimistic. One thing that’s come to “lift my spirits” (and in fact, my penis sometimes) is taking hour long walks with my […]

* “Work” * (Saturday, August 15th, 2020)

Yago received a bunch of vaccinations yesterday along with oral surgery (one of his bottom mullers was removed)—rabies vaccination, Distemper/Parvo vaccination (“what is Distemper/Parvo?” I wondered. As I read on vetstreet.com [1] “Canine Distemper/Parvo Bordetella and Rabies Vaccine”; no author named, published November 27, 2011 – where I was directed when I landed on an […]

*SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* (Thursday, August 13th, 2020)

Well… I faced my fear yesterday and created my first “donation button” for this here diary blog of mine. Why did I fear it? As I verbalized it in a passage from a draft of the introduction essay I’m working on: “It’s difficult for me to say because I don’t think I’m ‘so special’ or […]

A lot of marketing is manipulative bullshit! (“Sharing is caring”; “Let It Be”—sing it, Paul McCartney!) (Friday, July 31st, 2020)

Money can really fuck with one’s mind… worse than almost anything else except for maybe religious beliefs based on pure irrationality. As Bob Dylan sings in the song “It’s Alright Ma (I’m Only Bleeding)”: money doesn’t talk, it swearsObscenity, who really caresPropaganda, all is phony (How do I distinguish the notion of religion “based on […]

A Glimpse Into How I Gave Myself Atychiphobia: ‘the abnormal, unwarranted, and persistent fear of failure’ (Wednesday, July 29th, 2020)

My therapist aptly noted how I rely at times far too much on other voices to inform my own. What do we mean by “voice” in this case? For let us please be clear that there’s a difference between self expression and that which, by virtue of constant empirical repetition, is as probable a fact […]

Some of the Psychology of Interdisciplinary Thinking, the Covid Pandemic, and Erectile Dysfunction (Sunday, July 26th, 2020)

Learning to Reach for the Northern Star and Toss the Anchor into the Sea It is one of those mornings when the mind struggles to focus, not so much as a symptom of Attention Deficit Disorder…though some people claim to believe A.D.D. is my fundamental ailment or struggle with my constant shifts on objects of […]

July 16th, 2020–my first entry in my new public/open online diary–which despite immense insecurity I found the nerve to write and share on this post

I would love to feel and think and act with less self-evisceration. Here is just one example. Yesterday I was thinking about journaling and then sharing the entry with you here on my blog however, I resisted because I feared that a stream-of-consciousness-ish approach to self-reflection, introspection, et cetera, that one would share… with “the […]