Some thoughts on The Ethical Slut (part book review, part personal essay)

In early October of 2019, at the suggestion of a former therapist, in response to my telling her that I found myself thinking about sex almost all the time (and that I hated myself for it, fearing I must have been some sort of “pervert” and that I was betraying my wife for constantly wanting […]

Paulita Pappel, Lustery, Ersties, and my corrective emotional experience concerning sex and porn

Paulita Pappel, Lustery, Ertsies and my corrective emotional experience concerning sex and porn Paulita Pappel, a 33 year old, Spanish, sex positive feminist filmmaker, pornographer, and founder of lustery.com, and a force behind ersties.com, profoundly changed the way I think and feel about love, sex, women, and pornography. I had an emotionally corrective experience I […]

Denying my love for sex, feeling constant guilt and shame: a few sources of my social anxiety

Often, social anxiety can seize me simply because, frankly, I’m often so sexual that 1) due to repressing my erotophilia, I experience a bit of OCD and think overwhelmingly about sex, 2) I worry that it’s “written all over my face,” as if I were blushing, and that it might make someone feel uncomfortable. Don’t […]

Some thoughts on sexual frustration

“That sh*t is real! But it isn’t something you’ll see defined in a medical textbook.” –Gabrielle Kassel “Oftentimes we complain about being sexually frustrated as though it’s someone else’s job to address our feelings—it’s not,” –Shamyra Howard “The only way out is through” Alanis Morissette One can get so overwhelmingly horny (like sex itself, though […]

Am I “obsessed” with sex or “passionate” and “in love with it?” (the first of a new series of blog posts about my insecurities, curiosities, and fascinations regarding sex)

Am I obsessed with sex or am I passionate about and in love with it? Well, this depends on how you are defining the terms. The Oxford English Dictionary provides, I believe, the most flexible of dictionary definitions for the word “obsessed”: In the sense that my mind is “filled” with thoughts about sex, I […]

The fear of death and living life in vain

…The fear of death and living life in vain… even to say it, as I sit here, at my desk, which is like my own private Star Trek holodeck, and flight deck/cockpit, where I figuratively “fly” to and/or through my abstract thoughts—like planets and their moons–, feelings—like looming changes in gravitational forces, brightness and dimness […]

“Trying to concretize abstract thoughts (Balance) # 2: Escape from the black holes of the purely abstract”

The mind is so mystical. It’s the basis of experience, memory, contemplation and imagination… Music stopped playing and yet, as Percy Shelley wrote, it “vibrates in the memory.”  Trippy, like how that Shelley line just transpires in my consciousness, as if my mind simply emitted it, as if I could feel my wife’s kiss and […]