On polyamory: part 2– Some observations on sexual attraction

On polyamory: part 2— Some observations on sexual attraction    A girl once called me ugly.[1] Fifteen or so years later, the remark still bugs me. Sometimes, when a woman attracts me, I think “she’d never fuck me![2]” And then I fall into hate with my face, and physics, and fate for damning me with […]

Investing more in my love, foundations, & fundamentals (Monday, August 17th, 2020)

It just occurs to me: my anxiety is so embedded and in some respects so unconscious that in the midst of certain activities, like reading my emails, I race to complete them as quickly as possible as if chores as opposed to meaningful life to-do’s. I’m reading my emails this morning with unusual relaxation this […]

My Grandmother’s Final Lesson, My Lies About Polyamory and Monogamy… (Wednesday, July 22nd, 2020)

The plot of last night’s nightmare revolved around my grandmother’s last few hours on a bed in the hospital. Similar to the view she appeared to hold and express the last time I saw her (in real life) and in fact the last year or maybe last few years, she did not fear dying and […]

Struggling to commit to a career…another one of my “phases”(Sunday, July 19th, 2020; 8:57 AM to 11:44 AM EDT)

I believe that one of my greatest strengths—a willingness to play the advocatus diaboli ( Latin for Devil’s Advocate) also is one my greatest weaknesses, making me vulnerable to abandoning, quitting on a proclaimed “dreams,” career aspirations, passions, long term career goals, potential fields of expertise; a handful of those close to me who also […]