Contemplating karma with respect to Trump, Covid 19, and the election (Biden/Harris 2020 ‘Unity Over Division’ ‘my candidates are Joe Biden*Kamala Harris for the soul of our nation (Bernards, NJ; Between Wednesday Sept. 23 & Friday Oct. 2, 2020)

Bernards, NJ; Between Wednesday, September 23rd, 2020 and Friday, October 2nd, 2020:

“Contemplating karma with respect to Trump, Covid19, and the election (Biden/Harris 2020 ‘Unity Over Division’ ‘my candidates are Joe Biden * Kamala Harris for the Soul of our Nation [1])”

“I am downhearted not, although it seems/ The new birth is abortive in the West,/ And men are turning from long-cherished dreams/ Of world-wide freedom to ignoble rest”[2] (-Claude McKay)

I voted by mail.

‘Twas the second time I’d ever done it. “To what avail?” I wonder,

as I contemplate the key details distinguishing these exceptionally deranged

times: pandemic

six months on with no sense of when a vaccine

will be unveiled, ready for widescale distribution; the president repeatedly

expressing his intentions to bypass

the constitution

and dispute the election results if he loses; i.e., have a supreme court justice

he chooses

perhaps turn the supreme court into an abusive tool he uses to make a

ruling that produces glib excuses for whatever technically illegal

things he feels like doing.    

I try to view it matter-of-factly but how does one do it without the facts

zapping the nerves and hurting? 

I tell myself

to inhale then exhale,

inhale then exhale, inhale then exhale…

(Thank you Andy Puddicombe, your Headspace ap helps me relax and cope,

not lose hope, not over emote as I’m unfortunately rather prone to doing)

I’m surely somewhat ashamed, ‘twas immature and somewhat dumb, but

when I dropped my ballot into the mail box—immediately after dinner,

anxious to do my part to help make Biden the winner– I uttered to the nice,

breezy, sixty something degrees end-of-September air, as if President

Trump were there, or as if I came out with some spell that might send

Trump straight to Hell (I do not wish Hell upon anyone—I knew not what I

had done– but I was mad, noise from the presidential debate was annoying

and disturbing my mind, and reached a point where I lost my poise), I

blurted to the air “fuck you, Trump!”  

A tinge of guilt now begins to brush up against me upon learning that he

and Melania have tested positive for Covid. I don’t blame myself, but I

repeat: I don’t wish anyone unwell. And yet there’s a temptation to slip

again into a state of condemnation and say it’s karma that he and Melania

tested positive. Covid has killed how many people specifically because of

Trump’s misinformation, downplaying and inaction?  

[1] So go two of the slogans declared on some Biden-Harris campaign paraphernalia 

[2]  “Re-Affirmation” by Claude McKay; Complete Poems edited and with an Introduction by William J. Maxwell; University of Illinois Press, 2008; page 143

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