An exhale expressing gratitude for how blessed I am with the privilege and luxury of a day to relax (Sunday, August 2nd, 2020)

Recently we changed the pharmacy we use from Wallgreens to LCS Mail Order Pharmacy.

This “mail order pharmacy” concept seemed potentially very troubling to me. Suppose someone does not receive her or his medications in the mail on time? I had put that concern to rest when I spoke on the phone with the seemingly very kind lady who confirmed my new account number and recently phoned in prescriptions. I thought she said that the medicine would arrive later that day (this was Friday). Assuming that it might not, I figured my Lunesta would arrive the next day, Saturday, (yesterday) and I neglected to take a glance at how many Lunetsa pills remained in the vial. By yesterday evening, when the Lunesta did not arrive, I grew concerned about the fate of this mail order and sought to investigate.

All that I supposed was necessary was to politely call the pharmacy and ask what exactly the typical delivery time was and if anything had gone wrong my prescription. Well, you do know what they say about assumption, right? How they make an “ass” out of “u” and “me”–? The degree of my lack of responsibility grew apparent to me as I learned that their office/ call center is closed on weekends.

Hmm. Well, back to that earlier question I had: okay, so who do we call on weekends just to check up on prescriptions?


I shouldn’t have found this shocking as American companies and business operations are just rampant with all sorts of cost saving malpractice but I actually was most surprised. (Especially these days in President Donald Trump’s America.) Anyway, sure, general cheapness and a little incompetence is to be expected as I suppose this exists within us all. What I did NOT expect was the sort of incompetence and negligence that would so obviously infuriate customers. As someone who worked in food and retail for over a decade one key lesson I took away from the general customer service ethos (as I believe I discussed the other day in my rant on marketing )

–it seems an almost universally held principle, for better or for worse, to kiss the customer’s rectum, often in fact to a point of absurdity. I almost always witnessed managers whose job it was to deal with customer complaints sooner contradict a general policy to prevent the situation from escalating to someone higher up who perhaps would really not want to deal with it and feel annoyed by their subordinate for bothering them with it. “Just to shut her up” I recall one supervisor saying. And I must imagine I am not the only LSC Mail Order Pharmacy customer not to receive his or her medication in a conducive time.

And what if it had been an emergency!?!

Thankfully, it’s just a night or few of sleep the matter will cost me. What if it wasn’t? What if it was an emergency? And why would the pharmacy’s website not offer some sort of remark such as “if this is an emergency….”–? Even supposing that’s obvious, for PR purposes, if it was my pharmacy I would want to make my website look at least like it has the customers covered.

Wallgreens goes the extra mile by offering someone available by at least online chat 24/7.!

Speaking of all this failure and success as I have recently! What an interesting “case study” or real-life example of the contrast. In any event, I plan on expressing my concerns about this neglect on the part of the pharmacy.

I also hold myself responsible however. I should have explicitly asked: “so I should expect the Lunesta by ____? What should I do if for some reason it doesn’t arrive? What if it doesn’t arrive when I need it? Moreover, I should have said something to my psychiatrist earlier, in the midst of the pharmacy change.

My psychiatrist’s office was closed but they had an answering service and I spoke with a kind fellow with the answering service. He said he would email an on-call psychiatrist my information and if they approved then they would contact my previous pharmacy which is just down the street.

(Ah…this brings up a whole other issue. You see, we would not have had to switch pharmacies if it wasn’t for the fact that our new insurance company doesn’t—good old Horizon BlueCross BlueShield Omnia [1]By the way, even Horizon has the common sense to make itself appear elaborately prepared for customer concerns even though I believe most of us know that insurance companies—especially HEALTH … Continue reading

–if our insurance company covered prescriptions filled at the Wallgreens down the street.)

Unfortunately whoever the psychiatrist was either didn’t receive the email or didn’t deem my request for Lunesta to be a necessity.

Fair enough. As I said…I can go awhile without sleep if I must. If people with true emergencies are at least getting the attention they need, that’s cool enough. Again, I should have been prepared for what happens when a prescription doesn’t go through FOR ANY REASON. It makes me think of PREPAREDNESS.

Not one of my strong suits just yet.

One of the benefits of falling in love with keeping a diary that in part tracks my efforts towards self-improvement is that it provides plenty of incentive for me to indeed…self improve, in the concrete. One of the shortcomings that has persisted through my intellectual and artistic life is that I am so abstract and hyper focused that I miss things… little things. Like…I am trying to think of it now…what I ought to make a check list for…just a general preparedness checklist or general upkeep…

…feeling a touch anxious at the moment actually. Maybe too much coffee mixed with not enough sleep and slipping into worries about perfectionism, money, et cetera…

…I was looking up affirmations to use when one has a panic attack. I like this one that I found at a life coaching blog  :

 I fill my mind with positive, healing thoughts

I fill my mind with positive, healing thoughts

I fill my mind with positive, healing thoughts

I fill my mind with positive, healing thoughts….

Affirmations and visualizations I do find quite helpful and often genuinely inspiring.

I forget where I read the question… maybe from (?): “am I letting matters out of my control stress me out?” I put this question next to an item on my diary ideas guidelines checklist I got from that book by Tara Swart—The Source—   that I’m always telling you about, to note “sources” that are “energizing” “distracting” or “depleting”—fixations on that which is out of one’s control being a distracting and depleting source.

What is it that is out of my control that I was REALLY worrying about? Anticipation of “missing something” in terms of what needs to be done. But in fact…to the best of my knowledge, other than trying to get my Lunesta and increasing my cash flow, in the short term what I really ought to do today is just relax as in fact my desk is filled with check-lists and to-do’s most of which at this point are longer term needs that take time…such as…increasing cash flow, increasing self-esteem, finishing my Master’s degree… speaking of which… on my list of things I can improve in the realm of self-esteem…fitting in relaxation that extends beyond TV before bed, meditation, and masturbation. So…I shall spend a good portion of today relaxing and considering myself lucky that indeed I AM BLESSED WITH THE LUXURY of even having a day to relax…


1 By the way, even Horizon has the common sense to make itself appear elaborately prepared for customer concerns even though I believe most of us know that insurance companies—especially HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANIES–, by virtue of putting profit before human life, operate by corrupt and unethical intentions…

it is not even that they earn a profit or value profit. I am after-all a capitalist, granted, I’m one who believes in some regulation to keep competition fair and protect the consumers, workers, et cetera from exploitation. The problem is when profit is blatantly prioritized over human life. Making health insurance work as well as possible for as many people as possible, in my opinion, ought to be up their with national defense in terms of the degree of importance we as a society and culture place on things. And, just so this is out of the way, in case you were beginning to think I am a Utopian Socialist or pink communist or something… I am not. I’m not an idealist of any kind anymore. Life, in my opinion, teaches those who listen that… I don’t know…I felt on the verge of a maxim or aphorism or like some kind of “memorable quote” but I lost it… my point being, anyway, that I don’t have this dream of perfect health insurance and perfect medicine. What I imagine is possible is industry that genuinely cares about its services as a matter of making the world a better place and contributing to the “general welfare”  

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