POETRY BY SEAN O’CONNOR

Philosophical poetry and other supplementary miscellaneous notes exploring efforts to self-actualize and self-transcend

A Table of Contents

On certain conflicts that arise between love-life and career

…blessed with health insurance that your employer offers–better quality, more coverage
than any of our previous policies…

(oh, the days
when we could not find
a psychotherapist willing to take
clients with Medicaid;
ah, but today we’re so privileged,

Dissociation

Isn’t it the case that one’s “self” is the same thing as one’s brain? Or the mind/consciousness and unconscious, which the brain makes? …Such contemplations lead to dissociation and panic attacks because they accentuate the idea that free-will/choice/control is all bullshit and that the soul is… such as Behaviorists insist… Ivan Pavlov and his dog, […]

The fear of death and living life in vain

…The fear of death and living life in vain… even to say it, as I sit here, at my desk, which is like my own private Star Trek holodeck, and flight deck/cockpit, where I figuratively “fly” to and/or through my abstract thoughts—like planets and their moons–, feelings—like looming changes in gravitational forces, brightness and dimness […]

Whiskey #2: an affirmation/mantra/prayer

I suppose it’s a feeling of increasing power that I seek. Isn’t that what Nietzsche would say? (Ah, Whiskey, I remember reading Nietzsche’s Will to Power in the nice, steaming bath, while devouring you, thinking I was so fucking chic, so not nihilistic.) But not power as such, but eudaimonic well-being, self-actualization, self-transcendence, some sort […]

Whiskey #1: a bit about the anxiety

Whiskey, time to have a hissy fit with you again because you are not my friend. You send me into temporary states of evasion and oblivion. How do I feel when I think I need you? My mind begins to race and reel and I think about so many of the things I hope to […]

On compatibilism/soft determinism and consciousness

On Compatibilism/Soft Determinism and Consciousness For love, and beauty, and delight There is no death nor change: their might Exceeds our organs—which endure No light—being themselves obscure -Percy Shelley; The Sensitive Plant Often, while meditating, trying to calm my overstimulated body and mind, trembly, bone deep…as if I took amphetamines, it seems like my unconscious […]

On cathartic, descriptive mindfulness and compression; or version #2 of ‘Internet compressed maximalism part 1…’

“On cathartic, descriptive mindfulness and compression or version #2 of ‘Internet compressed maximalism part 1…’” The ultimate horizon that just keeps reaching further and deeper; space, time, and motion expanding, increasing– near- infinity, near-eternity… And although I do hope to keep my mind open to it, I realize one can indeed overdo it; “The Paradox […]

On Polyamory: part 3 (a variation on part 1)

On  Polyamory: part 3 (a variation on part 1) Maybe it was an auditory hallucination resulting from my sexual frustration and wishful imagination, but the moaning and sexual phrases I thought I heard a neighbor of mine scream (presumably in the midst of fucking and/or making love) blazed through nerves with extreme intensity, like New […]

On polyamory: part 2– Some observations on sexual attraction

On polyamory: part 2— Some observations on sexual attraction    A girl once called me ugly.[1] Fifteen or so years later, the remark still bugs me. Sometimes, when a woman attracts me, I think “she’d never fuck me![2]” And then I fall into hate with my face, and physics, and fate for damning me with […]

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